Final Words, SnowLullaby Signing Off

This is going to be the last post on this blog.

This is going to be the last post about theater102.

It felt like yesterday that I posted my first ever blog post on this blog. And now here I am doing my last post on this blog. No I don't think I'll ever be blogging again, cuz let's face it. I don't really like writing blogs. Well at least not posts about my life.

But this blog has been very dear to me. The documentation of what I did in theater102 in ADP in Winter 2012; the reflections I did, the things I learned, the things that I did wrong, the things that I did right, everything is documented right here and now.

So since it has most of the things I've learned so here's one last post about Rey's feedback of Teck Sern's and my adaptation of The Man Who Couldn't Dance.

So, we decided that we were going to talk to Rey today at 10am about our performance on Wednesday. I wasn't that scared, because whatever marks I'll get, its the marks that I believe I'll deserve, because I know I gave my 110% on that stage.

So we walked in, and we began talking. Rey asked us how we felt we did, and obviously we were very open about it. We felt that we both did well, we felt that we both gave it our all on Wednesday.

So Rey gave us our feedback. He felt that we both did well, despite having a hard script. There were many layers to the script and he doesn't blame us for getting only 80% of the way, because it was so deep and there were so little time.

He also thought that Teck Sern did well, with that character that he was given so late. Rey turned his problem into its own solution. Instead of making him stay still, Rey made him move around instead. Even more than before. But the difference was the movement were strong grounded movements, and deliberate. The only problem was that because he got that character so late, he couldn't really find the moments to do those movements. But regardless, I thought that Teck Sern did great! I'm so proud of him.

So, after Wednesday's performance, we got *drum rolls*

A HIGH B

Well, I'm ok with it. Considering the fact that we had a hard script and heck we both were completely our of our comfort zone unlike some of the other's characters. But Rey felt that if we had given more time, we could have achieved that A, and over time we would have done better than what we did on Wednesday.

I'm not sad that we only got a high B. I'm very satisfied.

I just wanna say to my awesome partner, Teck Sern, a big thank you. Thank you for being such an awesome, committed partner. I know I haven't been the best partner, but thank you for sticking with me through ups and downs that we go through in the rehearsal period. I'm sorry if I've said anything or done anything wrong. But I want you to know, I'm very proud of you. I'm very proud of the things that we've done as partners and the things that we've achieved throughout the duration of this finals. 


And now that theater 102 is finally finished, its time for me to sign off. 


This blog may not have anymore updates from now on. But it has been a pleasure writing and updating this blog. I know that later on in life, I can always go back here and read what I've done at one of the starting points of my theater life, and be proud of what I've done. I'll be able to appreciate where I came from and appreciate what I've done. I'll know that I would have come far, from an antisocial nerd to whatever I'll be in the future.


To my theater class,


I'll miss you all, and best of luck in the future. Thank you all for giving me the best last semester in ADP I can ever ask for. I certainly do hope that we will cross paths again somewhere in the future and perhaps get to work with you all again.


To Rey,


Billions of thanks for the things you have taught me. Theater taught me more things than what I could have learned inside the classrooms. Thank you for giving me the chance of becoming a stage manager, and I've certainly benefited from it. Thank you for rekindling the passion for stage that I've put off years ago. I know I didn't make a mistake taking theater 102. Best of luck in the future, and I certainly do hope that I'll get to work under you again.

~SnowLullaby, Celine Letizia Taslim, Signing Off.

DRAMATURGY - THE REAL THEATRE

[Wednesday, 2nd May 2012]

So its the big day. Damn.

One of the poster for Dramaturgy.

(Design by David C. Photography by Celine LT)

The past 3 months flew by so fast and here I am at the end of the my last semester down at ADP.


Damn it all feels so weird and surreal. In a couple of months and I'm going to be in the US.


But heck, I have to focus on this finals first. Wow my first ever role on stage that is not myself or close to myself. I mean in a public performance.


I've never really played anything out of my comfort zone really. I suppose Gail is probably my first character that has something that I completely have not experience. The joy of being a mother, having  a daughter, marriage life with the man I don't love; I mean I've never experience any of these before, and to be honest, I didn't think I would be able to pull them off. I'm very proud of myself of coming thus far. And now I am attached to this Abigail Lynn character, and I know that she will always be inside of me no matter how long after the performance.


So we decided that everyone has to come in by 8.30 to actually do bump and tag because we didn't get to do those yesterday. So yea, I got my ass there real early as usual, and just dumped my stuff backstage, before going out to do some errands. I had to print out the onsite script and prepare the RESERVED signs for our guests of honor tonight. Then I sort of just hang outside for a while till around 8.30.


I came back in and I saw Lih Seng, Leanne and a couple of others folding the program book. Damn. It looked good. Good job David for the designs :)


So, since majority was in, we began bump and tagging the floor. Eric and Josh came late, so we already bumped for them. The rest of the bumping went pretty smoothly, except for Stuck's bumping. Well let's just say Lycel was being a little bit difficult, so we didn't really bump for her. I mean she pretty much just left us halfway bumping. Heck I'm not gonna run after her and chase after her to stay and finish the bumping. If the running crew placed their props at the wrong places, not my problem, and neither it is the running crew's fault. It's because she didn't even bother bumping the floor herself.


Oh wells moving on. David, Vhina and I were running around like mad man trying to get everything sorted. I actually forgot to slid 3 program books underneath Rey's office, and when David called me, I had to rush to the office in the middle of the rain. And it doesn't help that everywhere is sooo damn slippery!


Pretty soon it was 2.45pm already. 45 minutes before the opening of the stage for the theater 101. The backstage crew from theater 102 were all in already. Vhina and I made sure that there were no hindrances and then we were set to go. Rey was already inside the theater, and he called out all the theater 101 people while the theater 102 people set up whatever they need to set up.


By the time 3.30 came, the door was opened. Leanne and Zong Yong was down at the entrance welcoming the people. Vhina was down at her post and I went around to double check if everything was ok. I also wished the 101s best of luck and to go out there and have the time of their life.


We started late, obviously, because even by 3.45, the house was only half filled. It was raining, can't be helped. But of course the show must go on. So they went on, and I can tell that the audience loved it! Good for them. But half way, the standing colored lights went out. Shit. There goes the lighting. URGH! Everything just has to go wrong these past few days.


Then by 4.15 they were done. They took the curtain call and rushed back to the changing room and changed to their black shirts. Oh no wait, they were already wearing black. HAHA. oh wells. Obviously, me and Vhina has to go and chase the audience out of the theater so we can actually set the stage and stuff like that.


Pretty soon it was 5. We were scheduled to start at 5.10 and looks like Rey told us to start earlier. Damn, our videographer wasn't in when we started. Because she had class that ended at 5. So she missed the first 2 performances. Apologies to Josh, Eric, Filza and Wei Lim. That was poor planning by me.


Damn the first 2 performances went pretty fast and pretty soon I found myself already right behind the entrance screen, waiting for the 3rd performance to finish. OMG it was even more nerve wracking being there, than on stage. I kept myself breathing and calm, and focused on Gail. I remembered the times that I spent with Eric, whats inside that room that I'm going into etc. Of course I also prayed. It's one of my rituals before going on stage.


Pretty soon the 3rd performance ended, and it was our turn. I stood behind the screen and with Vhina's cue, walked into my scene. Teck Sern forgot to make the noise though. HAHA.


That 10 minutes on stage was probably one that I won't forget, and one of the longest. I was Gail. I wasn't Celine. I was Abigail Lynn; mother of Elizabeth Young, wife of Frederick Young, and ex-girlfriend of Eric Evelyn Cooper, and damn it felt good.


I could feel myself getting hot when Eric said the lines, "You don't love Fred". You know, that sense of heat at the back of your head when you just got caught doing something bad? Yea that feeling. I could feel it. I felt that I was in character.


Yea, there were minor slip ups, but I'm proud of myself and Teck Sern for pulling through and ad-libbing when we did make mistakes. Obviously, given more time, we could have done better. But I think that we made the most of the time we had and obviously we didn't give the audience a half-assed show. We gave them our best.


I was pretty scared that it was too draggy and too boring for some of the people. I mean I saw two guys down in the front row playing with their phone. Seriously? Come on, that's not nice. But heck, I have a show to run and a whole house of audience to entertain. I really couldn't careless about two guys at the sidelines. 


By the time we finished, I was exhausted. Gail really took much out of me. When I let go of Eric, I became myself again. I couldn't help but smile at Teck Sern because we both know that it was finally over, and we both know that we've given them the best that we could have had. I have no regrets.


The only regret would be the fact that I probably, shouldn't have worn the shawl. I didn't practice with them and heck I looked really awkward with them.


Note to self. NEVER USE A PART OF COSTUME THAT YOU'VE NEVER PRACTICE IN.


When we took a final bow, I couldn't hide the genuine smile of joy that I had on my face. Sure it was over, but it always feels great to hear the applause of the audience. And it felt great; standing in front of these people with my talented and awesome classmates. It was a great feeling. Its a great feeling, knowing that we've given it our all that night.


It was an awesome night, we finished actually finished earlier than planned, thanks to the quick change of scene by our running crew, which consisted of Dharen, Kelvin and Tarang, as well as the accurate cues by our light and sound crews which consisted of Amanda, Gloria, and Debra. Of course not forgetting the leader of this crew, Marissa. Many thanks to the theater 101 people that helped us out. It wouldn't be such a success if it weren't because of you all.


Thank you to Sarah Yong for being our make up artist and did some of our make up as well :) And then to our photographer Au Xin Ni and our videographer, Momoko Uchimura as well. Looking forward to the photos and videos.


I thought some people were great. I thought Leanne and Adam was amazing. Lih Seng was on fire yesterday. He was literally crying on stage. Filza was on fire. When Leanne and I were preparing ourselves in the changing room, I could hear her shouting at Wei Lim.


I thought we all did well last night. No one screwed up real badly, but there were some really exceptional ones. Overall, I think we all did a good job and gave it our all on that stage. I love my class and this is definitely one class I will miss.

All the theater classes and their respective Lecturers.

Above, Theater 101 Section 4, 5 & 6, with Ms Pat Chan

Middle, Theater 102 (cast of Dramaturgy) and Theater 101 Section 3 with Rey Buono

Bottom, Theater 101 Section 1 & 2, with Ms Pat Chan 

(Photo by Au Xin Ni)

THE PROGRAM BOOK

Design by David C. 

Photography by Celine Letizia & Joshua Wong 

Photos in the program book taken by Nikon D7000

 The Cover Page

 First 2 pages, hey I see me :D

 3rd and 4th Page

 5th and 6th Page

 Last page about Rey :D

If you ask me, I still can't believe that it is all over. When we finished, we had a group hug and to be honest, I wanted to cry. But I didn't want to. Dude, my make up's gonna go all over the place and shit like that. And plus, let's not get all sentimental. I might not see all of them again. I mean this is my last damn semester, I sort of didn't want it all to end. If I could, I would stay in theater for the rest of my life because that is something I really like doing. 

Its such a sentimental and sad post. I mean no one likes goodbyes anyway, and no one likes separation. I always feel this way. I mean whenever I finished a performance, I would miss the days where I would spend hours rehearsing. Somewhere in my head, I would want to go back to the time before the performance, and redo the performance again and again.

I've ran out of things to say, I've got one more post about Rey's feedback to me and Teck Sern, then after that, this blog is shutting down. I feel kinda sad, because I know that I've given in my 110% in this class and now its all over already. It all seemed too fast.

I want to go back to the days where we would have our theater classes and then go out for breakfast.

I'll miss you all, my theater buddies.

Beat Sheet for Abigail Lynn

So here's the beat sheet for The Man Who Couldn't Dance, for Gail.

Beat	Objective	Obstacle	Action
1.	I want to get inside the room to check on my baby, and let Eric see her	The door	I opened the door and made my way inside
2.	I want to get in without waking my baby up	Eric making a noise	I said “Not too loud”  in a scolding manner
3.	I want to show Eric my baby	His ignorance and lack of interest	I called him once, and when he didn’t turn, I called him again until he turned. Smiled at him and introduced the man to my sweet baby
4.	I want to show him that I’m offended	His inconsiderateness	I made a loud, somewhat angry “What” and looked at him straight in the eye
5.	I don’t want to start a fight with him	He’s still being inconsiderate towards my feelings	I just brushed it off in a way. I put the insult aside, and told him why I wanted him to see my baby.
6.	I wanted to get an explanation out of him		“What?”
7.	I don’t really want to get all sentimental and going back to the past kind of thing	His speech-like way of saying things	I turned whatever he said into a joke, and laughed it off
8.	I don’t want to start a fight with him	Once he rants, he won’t stop.	“I do not want to get into a discussion about this now, Eric” in a stern voice.
9.	I don’t want to start a fight and wake the baby up. I felt it’s enough that he’s already seen the baby		“Let’s just go downstairs”
10.	I want to show him that I’m offended at his remarks	He is still being inconsiderate	I raised my voice as I asked him what he meant.
11.	I want to show him that I am now living the life that I always wanted and is now very happy		“Fred and I happen to be very, very happy” I also raised my voice to show that I was offended of what he said about Fred and Marie
12.	I want to hurt him like he hurt me	His emotional detachment, and his lack of expression	I made fun of the fact that he is going out with a girl that is far too young for him and does a thesis on a stupid singer.
13.	I want to deny the fact that I was interested with her thesis	The fact that he is seeing right through me	“Who the hell would write a thesis on Paris Hilton?!” in a mocking tone, especially when I said Paris Hilton. I try to imitate how Paris Hilton acts
14.	I want to make fun of him		“Oh she’s beautiful, she’s intelligent, she’s not hung up by society’s rule” while imitating him on the phone
15.	I want to point out the fact that he hasn’t grown up despite the age, and continue to mock him		“I think you should grow up”, “Why should you grow up, are you asking me why should you grow up?” emphasis on grow up.
16.	I want to show that I’ve moved on and grown up of our past relationship	He’s seeing right through me	I list down the things that people do, and stated the fact that, that is what everyone does.
17.	I wanted to show him that I am not saddened about the past	He’s seeing right through me, he knows that I only got by.	I snapped back at him denying the fact that I was going to cry.
18.	I want to deny the fact that I regret my choices. I wanted to show him that I made the right choice	He doesn’t trust me	I swore at him, showing him how I am not happy with the fact that he’s looking through me
19.	I finally snapped and I let out the truth of how I am happy with the fact that he left my life		I growled and shouted at him, about how I made the right choice about marrying Fred and that he wasn’t the father of my daughter.
20.	I attempted to end the fight	He continues to mock me	“Let’s just spend the rest of the night playing Pictionary alright”
21.	I want to show him that I’m offended at the fact that he is insulting my husband	His ignorance	“Do you know how intimidated my husband is by you?” telling him to back off.
22.	I want to mock his immaturity.		“Maturity-wise”
23.	I want to drop the subject about my marriage and feelings	His persistence	“That’s it. I demand that you play Pictionary, Eric, I goddamn insist.”
24.	I need to deny the fact that I don’t love my husband	He’s seeing right through me	“I never said I didn’t love him” This wasn’t a lie.
25.	I couldn’t tell Eric that I loved my husband.	My denial had finally reached its peak that I can’t continue to deny anymore	“YOU GOT ON THAT FUCKING BOAT!” I told him the reason why we were in this place.
26.	I want to continue to make him feel hurt the way I did		“The Farmboy from Bensonhurst. You’re wasting your intelligence”
27.	My last attempt to justify my choices in the past, and to establish a higher status than him		“That thing you said about me regretting my choices, at least I made a choice”
28.	My attempt to justify my marriage	His trust in me	“I love Fred, Eric”
29.	He needed to know the truth	I can’t keep denying myself	“But not like how I loved you.”
30.	I wanted to end the conversation and the fight	He seemed to want to stay	“Let’s just go downstairs” and I apologized for what happened in the past.
31.	I wanted to stop him but I didn’t	I’m seeing him as the father of my daughter, and I liked the view of that. I couldn’t stop him from lifting Elizabeth into his arms.	“Eric, what is it?”
32.	I didn’t want to get into another fight.	I didn’t want to hear what he wanted to say, but he continued on anyway	“You can’t dance, this is why you’re crying?”
33.	I wanted to hear his justifications		“How did Elizabeth made you think of that?”
34.	I didn’t want to take the blame of what happened		“I would arrange this, like I did this to you?” Emphasis on I and a tone of disbelief.
35.	I wanted to know why he didn’t tell me this earlier. I regretted my choices of marrying Fred		“Why didn’t you just say me you couldn’t dance?”
36.	I want to raise his spirit	He’s feeling so down	“Yes, you will!”
37.	I shouldn’t hold him	I want to hold him	“I don’t think so, I mean, I don’t think I would be able to let go”
38.	I wanted to tell him the truth		“I believe you, I cried”
39.	I attempted to raise the mood. I’ve got to comfort him.		“There was one time that you danced with”
40.	I’ve got to comfort him, give him a little bit of hope		“Eric, maybe one day-”
41.	I’ve got to give him some positive thoughts	He really doesn’t like Marie	“I’m sure you’ll do just fine on your own”
42.	I’ve got to make up for those lost times, and I’ve got to give him more positive thoughts		I went up to him, hugged him and started dancing with him, giving him assurance that everything will be ok.